


Lost Under The Surface

by akamine_chan



Category: Durham County
Genre: Community: c6d_universe, Gen, theme challenge: mortal sins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-05
Updated: 2010-04-05
Packaged: 2017-10-15 15:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akamine_chan/pseuds/akamine_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her chest is tight with fear, she can hardly draw breath, but she won't back down.  Can't.  It's too late, now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Under The Surface

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Mortal Sins Challenge at the LJ community c6d_universe.
> 
> I've been wanting to write this since I saw the season two finale - there was something about it that was so brutal and tender at the same time. I think I am broken. Thanks to Sionnain for a super quick, short-notice beta. Title from _Numb_ by Linkin Park.
> 
> Prompt: Wrath. Suicide is considered the ultimate, albeit tragic, expression of wrath directed inwardly, a final rejection of God's gifts (from Wikipedia).

The visitor's area is quiet, and empty, and Pen's footsteps echo hollowly. Ray sits by a window and she walks to him. Her chest is tight with fear, she can hardly draw breath, but she won't back down. Can't. It's too late, now.

She keeps her mask of calm drawn firmly down over her face. She won't falter. The pain is too much.

Her eyes burn with tears, but she blinks them back, looking down at him. Just this once she won't be weak, she _will_ be strong enough to do what needs to be done. "You've made your decision. I've made mine." She holds out the straight razor and meets his shadowed gaze.

Something like compassion, like _kindness_ flashes in those dark eyes. He can see into her, she knows it, he can see the pain that eats at her soul, day after day. He can see her cowardice, her fear, and he forgives her for it.

Pen almost falls apart as he looks into her and _accepts_ her for what she is: broken and dark, unfixable. Like him.

She sits at his feet as he asks and her hands tremble. Her mouth is dry and she swallows, her throat catching on a sob. She's scared, she's always been _too_ scared, but there's a quiet joy singing in some secret part of her.

She's wanted this for so long. She's waited for so long.

Carefully, she gathers her hair and pulls it forward over her shoulder, baring her neck to him, for him, leaning against his warmth, savoring it. She inhales slowly, trying to calm the racing of her heart, and she _smells_ him.

His scent is strong and powerful, he smells of musk and sweat and maleness. It reassures her, soothes her. She nuzzles closer, feeling his hand stroke down her hair, petting her. She feels safe.

A sob breaks free, and another, and she bites her lip hard to keep the rest of them silent. This is what she wants, this is what she deserves. No more haunted eyes in the mirror, looking back at her. No more blood on her hands. No more pain. This will set her free.

Ray touches her face, gently, and she allows herself one last, final moment of connection, touching his hand. He lifts her chin up and _cuts_.

There's a brief moment of breathlessness, an icy sharp pain, bitter-tasting, before she feels the flood of warmth trickling down her neck. She smiles and closes her eyes, feeling a peaceful lassitude steal over her. It doesn't take long.

-fin-


End file.
